Sunday 10th January. It’s fucking freezing up north. Here in York we have a lot of frost and ice but no pretty layers of thick snow like in the rest of Yorkshire and much of the UK. I can’t work out if I’m happy or sad about this. The cold is tedious to me – miss January in Catalunya where you spend weekends up in the peaky Pyrenees and winter weekdays strolling along by the Med – but the snowy scenes on Instagram do look pretty cute, I have to admit.
The kids have hardly been outside this week but Flora has done at least 473 cartwheels and spends 40% of her time on her head; her core is getting ripped! Oh to be eight. I start to feel vaguely motivated to do my own cartwheels; anything for a rush of blood to the head is what we need right now.
And, we’re back to this lockdown life. Back in each others’ company 24/7, attempting to homeschool as patiently as possible (= zero patience).
It’s all a bit surreal isn’t it?
I have to admit I did shed a few tears the night of Boris’s announcement.
Momentarily I felt sorry for the kids that they won’t be able to see their friends for a while. I worried about the juggle of trying to keep them motivated and happy, how to keep the various streams of work flowing, how to find the time to write a film script I have in my mind whilst also preparing snacks every 17 minutes.
That’s the lockdown challenge isn’t it, feeling sane in the face of all this extra mental load?
Tony catches me weeping and off guard. I’m standing in the kitchen, wearing pyjamas and slippers even though it’s only 4pm, I’m stirring a pot of leek and potato soup (my favourite comfort soup), listening to 6 Music and feeling swamped due to all of the above.
“It’s not like we’re fleeing Syria” he says, “We’re so lucky”.
We talk about the things we are thankful for instead and I make a list:
~ This is a period of hibernation; I’m liberated from school runs, kids’ activities and socials other than juicy walks with my friends (my kind of social).
~ Christmas is DONE. This is no small feat. It’s done and packed away until next year (and we’ve promised ourselves to spend next Christmas on the beach).
~ A period of sobriety stretches ahead and feels right for me this year. Everyone’s like, AS IF DRY JAN in 2020?!! But for me, I need to have a clear head, it feels wholesome and liberating in a way. Might I add that I really love booze, so this is no mean feat. I just feel like we drank so much over the first lockdown and then Christmas, it’s just nice to feel like me again, stripped bare. More on my mission to come.
~ We two GORGEOUS new mini-lop bunnies called Charli and Fuzz. Watching these two small, fluffy, vegetarians (words borrowed from a friend) tearing up and down the kitchen is absurdly cute. I want to spend all day every day curled up with them on the sofa.
~ We’ve got a huge list of movies to watch, across loads of genres. We don’t often watch stuff together, Tony loves Sci Fi, I love people stories.
~ I can go out for runs/walks every day all on my own for the required headspace to get through this!
It’s not all bad, is it?
It’s Sunday. I’ve been for my first run of the year. We’re going to cook Christmas dinner, round two, later because we have a whole, stuffed, posh turkey breast that arrived via FEDEX (I kid you not) from a happy turkey farm in Norfolk. It’s been in our freezer since December so today we’re going to roast it and have Christmas dinner baguettes with the turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, salad and mayo.
Afterwards we’re going to watch Soul cuddled up by the fire.
Sending you a lot of Sunday love. I hope things are OK with you
Big love, Ruth xx